Where In The World Have I Been

That is the big question, right?

The answer is not easy. Well, I guess I should say it is complex.

It started April 14. I left NYC for my Euro adventure (pictures to follow). I undoubtedly had the time of my life. Coming back and adjusting to "real life" was hard, really hard. I did some true backpacking. No nice hotels, just hostels and AirBnB's. :) Here was the itinerary ...

• NYC - London
• London - Brussels
• Brussels - Antwerpen
• Antwerpen - Amsterdam
• Amsterdam - Cologne
• Cologne - Munich (day trip)
• Venice
• Milan

I was in sensory, travel, history, food overload and loving every single minute. I was in heaven. Travel has always been a passion, I do work in the travel industry, but this was amazing. 

I was able to travel part of the time with my boyfriend, college best friend, and another guy best friend and then the other part just my college best friend and I. The dynamics were totally different. The four of us together were an enigma. The energy was constant and exhausting at the same time. It was amazing. With Vicky and I it was calming and relaxing and we were able to just ... be.

There are so many things to say about Europe. It is hard to put them down into words. I guess what I end up at is, I came back questioning if I am meant to live where I am, do what I am doing and be where I am at. Is it crazy that travel can give you so much perspective that makes you question ... everything? It has certainly thrown a little loop into life. 

A few things/lessons/takeaways from my trip.

• Understanding of culture
• Appreciation for simplicity
• Language barrier
• Finding beauty in the little things
• Digital detoxing
• Letting go of control
• Not planning everything out
• Learning to be ok when things don't go my way
• Trying all sorts of new foods
• Realizing I have to take care of my liver :)
• My body can only take so much before she gets sick
• Sunlight truly does make you happy
• Coffee in Europe is better than American Coffee
• A latte is just steamed milk
• Aperol spritz are heaven
• Everyone should eat breakfast the way Italians do
• American's are very impatient people

Some other fun takeaways (no judging). I truly think we all lived with the YOLO motto.

• Amsterdam was my favorite place and not for the reasons most think. It was beyond beautiful, the people were friendly and spoke perfect English and the city was full of so much history. But yes, I did visit the Red Light District, go to a "show," and try some edibles (leave it to me to get sick). When in Amsterdam ... :)
• Germans are completely comfortable with their bodies and I find that beautiful. We took a cable car over Cologne, Germany and found ourselves over a nudist camp. At the end of that camp was a thermal spa. The spa was simply gorgeous. We found ourselves free for a few hours and took some time to relax.
• We made lots of friends in Brussels and even met people from VERO BEACH, FL. This just blew my mind. I mean, Belgium. Oh, you are from small town, Vero too. No big deal! That was probably the best night. I have way too many polaroids. 
• We stayed in a famous chef's house in Brussels. His name is Wim Ballieu and we had no idea until we got there. What an amazing house and kitchen. His home was filled with books and books that he had written. He was gorgeous and mid-thirties, he also had a partner. 
• I met David Beckham. Ok, just the wax version, but it was pretty damn close to the real thing.
• We went to Abbey Road and it was damn hard to find. It took us over an hour to get the perfect setting for the four of us to do the walk across the road that the Beatles did way back when. It was perfect. Sam fell in love.
• Vicky and I had a day stop in Munich before our overnight train. We saw surfers ... in a forest. Yes, you read that right. Now, I am from the beach. This is a first for me and it was amazing!
• I bought more leather bags in Venice than I should have. Wait, can you really have too much leather? Nahhhh.

I miss Europe, traveling, being in confined hostels and trains. I miss Vicky and Dan (not Sam because I live with him). Take me back. Next big trip is for the big 3-0!

Always the Forward-Thinker Who Happens to be Missing the Past

Let me start by saying I don't consider myself a complainer, a negative thinker or a person who talks about something to get attention. I am just a girl, who start a blog and sometimes an idea sparks and I feel the need to write.

So, I read a beautiful and slightly depressing article recently about a long distance relation (or lack of relation) between sisters.

I related a little too much to this article, in a bigger way.

I live 1,156 miles from my family - exactly. Door to door. 17 hours and 46 minutes from the Upper West Side of Manhattan to the little town of Vero Beach, Florida. I miss them, daily. Some days more than others. Maintaining what I would like to call a normal relationship with my family has not been easy.

Family is never easy though, right? They can be loving and supportive or overbearing, irrating and ... invisible. At the end of the day, I love them.

I smack dab the middle child of 5. Older half brother, older sister, me, younger brother, younger sister. With the exception of my older half brother, we all grew up together and couldn't be more different. 

I am 4 years apart from my older sister and younger brother. I have a strong personality, I strive to seek every bit of independence I can, perfectionist to a fault, and always looking for something to prove - whether this be to me or others.

I look at my siblings. My older sister is the most loving mother. When she loves someone, she loves with her whole heart. She doesn't really care about mainstream. She is laid back. She puts her kids first. There is so much I admire about this. I can't believe I am about to say this out loud, but I am not sure I want to have kids because I am too selfish with my time and life. At the same time, I think that is ok to admit. I admire that she gives up her time and does it willingly so that her girls can have a great life. That in return makes her happy.

Ah, then there is my carefree (maybe too carefree little sister). I have missed 6 years of my no 16, going on 17 year old sister growing up. The good bonding years. It makes me really, really sad. But, I can't not live my life. Selfish, again, right? I wish she and I were closer, I really do. I think she is not entering those teen years of not trusting many and being truly rebellious. I really worry about the path she is setting for herself. I know, in the long term, she will ultimately have to decide that. She is such a strong willed, stubborn girl. That can get her so far in life if she puts it to the right things. :)

That brings me to the two people who raised us; my parents. Man, I was such a daddy's girl growing up. I am not sure when that switch flipped and I became my mother's daughter. I suppose some time in my late teens. I got to experience the best of both worlds.

I miss the relationship I had with them. At times, I am jealous of the situation that exists back home; everyone living near each other, spending time together, enjoying each other. I miss out on all that and don't feel included. 

Being so far away and even leaving home for DC almost 7 years ago, I thought "distance makes the heart grow fonder." But, I think in my case, distance has just caused a wedge and sometimes "out of sight, out of mind" is more how I feel. Needless to say, the telephone will go silent for weeks, even months at a time. It is no none's fault. Not everyone can have a picture-perfect family.

That being said, I set a goal for myself, knowing that I will most likely never live in the same state as my family again to be more proactive in my communication. To send a card randomly, a text saying good morning, or even a video message regarding something about my day ... just to let them know I am thinking about them. :)